Raise The Anthem

how do i begin to describe the trawling under current of what has disturbed me since the afternoon began? it seems nothing has changed. and I feel lied to. I feel stupid for having believed. And now, I feel like ripping up the ticket.

it's all a fairy tale that never really existed. it is a sin punishable by seven deaths in the ancient chinese halls of hell. this piety has made me a black sheep of the flock. is it too much to ask to belong?

that niggling feeling that there is something amiss. that there is always something almost not there. thirty hits and miss. how can i be so naive to believe that someone else's good favor has found their way into the hearts of my folks?

we are the sum of our relationships. what if i don't like how things are adding up? i hate to negate the present so i choose to stay away, out of the picture frame. the missing child from the heirloom of still captures for years to come. why did it have to matter to me to feel like there is something i need to recover? perhaps it was never mine to begin with.

there is the unpopular belief that some of us are just born at the wrong place and the wrong time. much hush hush to the wrong people.

so, they are still the same paranoid people i grew up with. and so, should i keep looking and find myself short changed? it was never meant to be mine, the fine folk at raspberry town, the kind souls at salisbury street, those warm hands that held a good nourishing hug, a home to rest my head and a safe haven to guard my thoughts.

so tonight i should be content i have a machine that keeps me warm. for love is an empty hollow leading to an abyss of chance and desire. what will you have me do? why have you chosen to keep me on this side of the shorter stick? when will my time come?

maybe the little island is mine to give up. the place i hastily still call home is to be relinquished. my last piece of the past i have to leave behind to build a future to change the course of the trajectory.

Raise the anthem and fly the flags. Swiftly come, leave it behind, as we countdown to the knell of a new history and unbridled possibilities.