there are a million thoughts swimming right outside these walls, waiting to find their home and seal the deed sign on the dotted line. sigh. i don't know what light this be, that flickers in the night, keeping my heart pounding and restless. i'm hungry and broken. these pictures drive a deeper disappointment with myself. that i am missing the boat again. late to the game, still waiting.
whatever happened to the wild soul inside? the cares of this world and the need to salvage the unploughed landscape has made for the perfect distraction. now we're all old and sepia in tone, waiting for the archive box to arrive. where but where, be my fellow nomads who circle the horizon, surveying and lost as I am?
i'm looking for jesus in all the wrong places, in all the wrong people. where is love and what happened to this year's affection? we've all grown cold in our selfish desires. and we've grown nonchalant with the state we're in. we're blind, deaf, shafted and happy.
so as an afterthought, i tell myself i have to live on, pull all my bases and stay in belief. even when all love and consideration has been used up and drained by the ones closest to your heart and soul.
thing is, i would do anything. anything at all. but maybe the time is not right. will the picture still be that of a widow waiting for the walls to crumble?
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