The first drop of blood landed on my fingers today. Just this morning. Why do I feel like that? Like I have wielded something that's caused pain, caused anguish, caused another dear person to freeze. No apology is ever going to make it better. Something in me said, this is necessary.
Did I introduce death and condemnation? Were my words sharp and slithering? Did I speak too soon in this seeming set of ultimatum & boundaries? Is my style too brash and quick for my little ones to catch their breath?
I could not walk away without attempting to assure you. I could not walk away leaving you feeling cold. I only know what I know and I hope I have not dealt too strong a blow, if it comes across as a blow at all. I don't mean to rain on your parade.
I have no idea what to do now. Except trust that our God who works all things in His good nature will carry us all through this wet weather. He will make all things beautiful in His time. He who knitted our lives together in the most unlikely of situations.
Save us this day our God and Saviour.
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