conversations in my head

i don't believe it.

what? what do you not believe?

this.

this?

this stupid thing. whatever i have been sold.

who sold you? and what is that anyway?

stop asking stupid questions as if you are so intelligent.

fine. have it your way. and stop crying.

i feel so schizo.

yeah me too.

i wish i would stop talking.

ditto

smart arse.

*laughs*

i wish it were simple. all this bible bull. all this brother this and that. all these rusty blades. i could use some of them right now, you know?

come now, don't be stupid.

don't start with me. you know how this feels and stop being so condescending.

i'm just trying to help. i know we need it. we'll get through this ok?

funny how the very thing i want is the very thing i reject face on.

yeah. it is. so very true. you know you need it as much as i do.

i guess. and its so pathetic.

that we both have to pretend like there is someone else here who cares?

that. and that we're just talking and make believe.

it's ok. i'm perfectly fine with it.

i wish you were real... but then again, it wouldn't remove this tumour.

i know. you will be fine, alright.

you think?

man, this is like the worst time to be home alone.

yup and i'm regretting every minute of it.

silence too deafening, the cars roll on too carelessly, blah blah blah...

and the list goes on and on and shuddup. don't be a prick.

hey, you'd blog about it.

past tense dude. "blogged" about it.

i think you're crazy.

i know. i am. and i wish we both would disappear. out of sight, out of mind.

i'm not so sure.

and you're the level headed one. the one they all think is the most stable rock solid dude. yadyada...

you say it like you don't know me.

sometimes, seriously, i don't. i'm like, who is this guy? do I even know him?

we grew up together. don't say that.

i wish we did actually. you grew stubbornly. you did well. and, i kinda got lost.

that's why i'm here. and i'm glad i found you.

i'm not so sure.

look, you are in a good place right now. we, are in a good place right now.

i don't know. how is it good? it's fucking meaningless.

all this?

yeah, this.