Ghost-Gods

[Script] 1 Samuel 12:13-15 "So here's the king you wanted, the king you asked for. God has let you have your own way, given you a king. If you fear God, worship and obey him, and don't rebel against what he tells you. If both you and your king follow God, no problem. God will be sure to save you. But if you don't obey him and rebel against what he tells you, king or no king, you will fare no better than your fathers.

[Observe] Strange but true. Our philosophy of a god that would seethe in anger is an easy antidote to our comprehension of our Creator. The idea that God is good has more depth than the idea itself. Samuel was truly angry, righteously so, when the people asked him for a king. Why would you want a king when you have the original King who follows you like a cloud wherever you go? The essence of his holy discontent. Here, again, we see the utter, ridiculous goodness of God. The people rejected God's leadership, kingship, wanted a king whom they can touch and feel and see. A visual human being they can trust. God is big enough to let it slide, in His good nature and in His consistent character, would give what we ask for, even though there are these unpalatable side effects that come along. He orchestrates, works with the system, reconfigures the perfect human king for His people. That is the extent to how He would save us. And why would He do that? That we would be alive, protected, still living in His hope that one day we will return to Him wholly, in obedience, in surrender, in love.

And this is not the first time He has done it. Consistently, He gives us what we ask, and serves it with His heart cry - return, obey and worship only the one God who took delight in making [us] into his very own people.

[App] How many times have I rejected His presence? And humanly so. For I cannot feel, touch, see Him. I have never asked for a "king" in my life till recent late years as a christian. Crossing boundaries and prayers that seem heretic. Stoic and strength seemed to ground my feet and keep me within the picket fences. And as I understood the goodness and grace of God, I started asking for these "kings and rulers" to watch over me. Yes, all along, my King and My God has kept His watch all through the night. And it is difficult to have an emotional intelligence about it. How do you walk on a tight rope when you can't even see it? Yet it is the constant call, this irony, this faith, to return to His presence, to obey, to serve with ALL my heart. How much is this not stoic? How much is this human, the humanity He created us with? How much is this life?

I have lived with a tyrant king, a biker leader who never showed tender mercies. A violent lord over my life, who knew only pain and infliction to raise a boy and whip him into a man. I rejected that king when I found my cross and His maker. And now it seems I have spent the last few decades searching, instinctively for a human king, suffering under the imperfect rulership, reminiscent of my days in Egypt. Well-fed, clothed, crowned but enslaved, chained and fenced in.

[Pray] Have I forgotten my Egypt days, My God? For they are now far and north from here. There is freedom living under Your liberation. But there is also fear along with all this love You have given me. These uncertain times are only uncertain when I try to figure it all out on my own, borrowing from the wisdom of other rulers. Working my back sore in exchange for the gold and silver promises from these Egyptian gods. I want to walk with You my King. I want to tread in obedient step with You my God. I want to live in liberation and trust my needs in Your hands. I want to worship You in all my ways. Have mercy on me even when I still ask for faux-kings and ghost-gods. Give me the best shot even though I may trade for second best. For You are my Father and you are a loving merciful one at that.

[1 Samuel 12:20-22] Samuel said to them, "Don't be fearful. It's true that you have done something very wrong. All the same, don't turn your back on God. Worship and serve him heart and soul! Don't chase after ghost-gods. There's nothing to them. They can't help you. They're nothing but ghost-gods! God, simply because of who he is, is not going to walk off and leave his people. God took delight in making you into his very own people.