skin

why am i so damaged to need your affection so bad? That it consumes me, that the denial leads me down gutters that feed me junk to satisfy the starved heart, that the convenience of moving pictures makes it easier to get through the night, only for the morning to wake with a deeper mutation.

i remember when i got my first set of whip marks on my arms. that humiliating burn on my ears more painful than the wounds.

some days, my imagination just want to provoke you to draw your fist. at least the drawing of my blood allows my skin to interface with what lacked in my formative years. but this evening, your lingering scent in the living room looked promising. or perhaps i am reading too much into purposes never intended. i wish i was better, easier to handle, low on maintenance. perhaps you are regretting giving your initial attention. i wish i ceased so you may go live what you believe you see with your naked eye.

how did i get here? how did we end up this way? how long can i last? when will i lose my mind?gonna be irresponsible.there is no such thing as salvation.love don't live here anymore.we're all left alone to drown in our own devices.rest in peace.