the week is beginning. all of 70 minutes into a new week. the morning has begun but i haven't had a chance to snooze and nest this sore bottom. the snowboarding effect is still sticking. overcompensating on alternate limbs is indeed causing more aches than what I'm dealing with. my brother said, just step through the pain and don't allow the body to side step.
i don't know what to expect, except the spirit is nudging with a sense of expectancy. maybe its just me not knowing what is going to happen, coupled with a sense of ongoing freedom and knowing that somehow, the bills have to be paid and ways i have to think of outside the square to stay the responsible second chance i have grown to cherish. i can count down the next two weeks till my vault is empty without a dime, even with my entrepreneurial 'stocktake eBay sale' plan.
rent, the one thing that makes us work our backs to almost exist. do we ever own anything?
At the heel of it all, i have no plans. But i do know i am focussing on buying time with the new workaround to lay it down. And hopefully, the work i do will provide a payoff. I'm serious. Like a friend once quipped, I've paid with my life so far. Time for payback, would that not be fine? Seems like I've been quoting this friend quite a bit lately. Ah, the school of smart asses and the intellectually unsatisfied. I'm so blessed.
Been watching too much delayed TV lately. It just chews up your time. But it's the kind of time i wouldn't spend doing anything else. Just because of the company, my brother along for the conversation. i'd do anything as long as love is in the house like a blanket, like a partnership, like kinship, like blood. everything becomes meaningful. songs get released from my heart. every bit of creation becomes relevant, my ears become attentive, my spirit inspired to move, extend, focus, trust, walk. Things I have been guarding jealously.
i've been scratching the surface to find a piece of heirloom that evidences my heritage and future. not that i have made it happen for myself, but i have found grace in the most unlikely of places. yet again. i am not surprised that God is taking me to the great unknown. as long as He knows, i will be present. i am. present.
His love endures.
On another note, in the reflections I heard from the few musicians post Sunday, surrounding the Guglielmucci story, it occurred to me that if we do not know how to be accountable, at the very least to the spirit, the beasts of the earth will make sure we are accountable to the world. That, is the extent of God's grace over our lives. For that, I am grateful.
His mercy endures.
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