collect your things

Stuff lying around, sporadic hopes and dreams all scattered like a brain on a tumor surgery. Why is it so hard to be confident in the currency of opinions and big ideas? Which begs the question - what's the big fucking idea? Are we just too caught up in naively trying to frame everything and hope for a movement to get us started, turned on or are we just plain lazy hiding behind these excuses of a grandiose LCD screen?

For I tell you, some of us are still too young to handle it. So why is my generation plagued with horns and bulls too fast, too furious?

But I guess if they don't, the sum of the passing showers would not have the energy and stamina to endure. For I find, I just endure even though it seems they all say, all they ever say cos they don't get it, that it is over, that your time has passed.

That I am just peter pan stuck in a moment I can't get out of. So, come now, reasonably speaking, this big fat idea, is it really just a moment?

For I remember my brother once said to me, in the most unlikely heat of our cabin fever, people misunderstand what they do not comprehend. And I for one keeps falling prey to my own devices and such common misunderstanding often pulls out the gun and click goes the barrel. It was bitter sweet as much as I can remember that he was crying in front of the kitchen sink, belting out my frustrations and for the first time I realized how much benefit of his doubt was the warm protective blanket surrounding me, guarding my back like a bullet proof vest. For the kindred of me, I found grace and a common confidence that quietly and stubbornly refuses to stop. To respect and honor. To stay loyal and steadfast. What God has given us, we do not diss. What He has blessed our beings with, we use it to do good for our humanity.

But I guess we haven't yet come to the fold in the light of this is the season to grow, grow strong, just simply, grow up, get your act together.

Good will come as we prepare our hands and feet and our immature minds to do what this instinct and blue print directs. Follow the rabbit hole ride and to this day I still see my constant second chance grace to let my fingers train and my feet shuffle and trace the steps of the Master's rhythm.

For what good is it to know and be strong if we cannot believe we will do and want to do good?

This is too much a futurist to stomach and perhaps that is my discontent. Always three steps ahead of everyone else. A gift is a curse as a curse that turns mourning into dancing.