Credit Refresh

The air is light, although still smoked from the overworked oven trying to rush out the crispy cornflour and sesame chicken for my brother and I to fill the protein part of our tummy. Many cardio minutes earlier, we had found ourselves suffocating for space and decided to pull the stop button and call it a short night. This is rush hour free gym membership at it's best. Folks from the neighbourhood who obviously have no paying part in the building but have access to take up the parking lots.

It takes very little to keep my feet and heart on solid ground. Just a few hours of doing life together, working out, food, anime, passion DVD, david crowder and discovering that matt redman is quite the bulk. To just hang, warm up the cold living room and to just be present. To the spirit that binds hearts together. To the presence of Jesus in the room and a quiet confidence lingering in the air.

Sitting here now, on my own, listening to the crema sessions recorded from several months ago, trying to remember how I was missing out on the nuances given the distracting, rude and rowdy crowd. Lord have your mercy, make me a steward of your talents and gifts, don't let them take me away from this place. How that now rings so true. Whoever "them" may be. Lift me high above this refrain, teach me to live and be the warrior within. So light up my way when darkness precedes, over my shadow, over my cradle. For You, You cradle me, in my darkest of hours, in my breathless gasp for air in-between sobs and pangs of pain.

So I have my credit refreshed. 30 for 120. Turbo. It ran out two weeks ago when an intentional long phone call was made in the midst of a raging heart rescue mission. I have depended on the fixed home line and online free messaging services to keep in touch with the ones I love and send out reminders to my team. Feels good that my repentance day is but one day closer. I actually survived 2 weeks with just under a hundred quid. A lot of pasta, chicken, bacon, cream, kaya and cheese toast and the ocassional lunch fast all because i forgot to bring the lunchbox.

I am blessed. Some son of God I am. Some days I miss the plot and vertigo takes over. But from this day forth, my feet forward, I know He is taking me from the former glory to a renewed strength. Through broken pieces of a contrite heart, the bruising of the ego and the frequent acquaintance with the carpet, all blood, tears and sweat. For He has given me voice to sing, notes to reach and heights to scale. My help, my strength comes from the maker of heaven and earth. He has set my feet upon a rock.

He has made me glad.