22:22

bach makes my aural senses heightened, sharpens my instincts for thirds and sometimes lower fifths. it is strange listening to this violin, trying to engineer my mind and ear for a tune up. our bodies are magnificent organic machines and i'm learning how to make the best use of it for the purposes of our created intent.

i've come round full circle so many times. that the mind is better over the matter is an abused overused opportunist phrase found in motivational philosophies. one day, i actually do see myself becoming a motivator. it's the maximiser in me working hand in hand with a less than common futurist.

today i lived in the present. woke up to breakfast at what used to be my favourite cafe, made myself unbelievably uncomfortable under the shadows of giant jocks and hoops, face smacked by a hard throw, learning new social genres without words involving only body contact, speed and competition, watched maroon 5 and rediscovering their sound with nandos on the side and ended the day with a dvd dinner and couch and my brother along for the ride all day. companionship is sweet.

now i'm sore in places i haven't ached in a long time. it's a good feeling. but, ask me again in the morning.

that it is gold to put yourself out there in unfamiliar territories to stretch the human state of being is so true. for the first time, I played some serious pick up game today. indoor, nonetheless, it was intense. half the time i was trying not to look like a fool and the other half, trying to remember what my brother/coach taught me at shooting hoops over easter camp and now staying present to his game time directions in the court, "where's your man?! mark your man, watch your man!"

I want to learn how to catch rebounds and play my defense well. I had a taste today, experiencing for the first time all the talk over bursts, short spurts, possible injuries, game intelligence. shuttle run in those fitness test days never looked so relevant now. it's like learning a different language. i think i am reveling in being unskilled and unknowing. i'm glad that i'm not doing it alone though.

which is how i feel most days at my new job. keeps me on my toes, a healthy sense of competition and sufficient pressure to keep me learning and picking up new things. And it helps that from management to peers to work culture, there is tremendous support to fail forward and know it is a safe place to make mistakes in this zone known as, to quote my manager, conscious incompetence.

i feel like tea, now, actually. And watching Slam Dunk.