it came down to king of kings. the old restaurant that is a piece of melbourne chinatown heritage. the first meal in march 2001 when i arrived. as i sat in the empty, surrounded by gold chinese decorations and lanterns, my cravings for my favourite soy sauce egg chiffon rice reactivated.
so much has happened since and like the promised change of season and weather i have believed in, i am sitting at the eve of my first sunday with the electric guitar with new effects waiting to sweeten the morning. it's been more than 6 months.
like the maturing of cheese and wine, it seems my journey with my fellow brother has taken a shift of depth. since my failure at ending it with pills, the chiding and outbursts, it seems my heart rate has taken a slow waltz. i think i might have come out of the undertow a little wiser, older, guarded with fear. the kind of fear to know there is an element of unknown but find peace in the chaos, stillness in the eye of the storm. a growing confidence in seeing the other hand joining in the clap and allowing the faults to lie not just on my shoulders.
i'm grateful. to walk in the shadows of ogres and brutes and listen to their hearts and souls instead of jocks and juvenile smart asses with a quick instant remedy that lasts seconds. i know i am loved. i know i matter. i know i play a big part in shaping those around me. i know i count. i know my mistakes can do good.
i am listening.
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